Winnie The Pooh: The Aftermath

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Winnie The Pooh: The Aftermath

Pooh: His honey addiction stayed with him his whole life. Christopher Robin tried to make him go to rehab but he said no, no, NO! Even if he had gone, it probably wouldn't have had much of an effect. Pooh's now the worlds largest stuffed bear---weighing a grand total of 10,000 lbs---and spends his days in front of the mirror, eating honey and chatting with his reflection.

Piglet: Once Piglet entered high school, everyone teased him for being too feminine; what with being pink and all. Because of this, he got hooked on steroids and spent every waking hour at the gym. His muscles set a world record after he graduated: Best Raised Stuffed Pig.

Tigger: Tigger was always the energetic one of the group. Nobody really questioned why. Until now! Christopher Robin found mountains of crack burried underneath the roots of Tigger's treehouse. He's now doing time for the rest of his life, due to the fact that all the crack was smuggled from the Caribbean.

Eeyore: Oh bother! Eeyore's lost his tail again. This time, it's permanently lost. He tried using string---along with various other items---but they didn't have the same charm. Distraught by the loss, Eeyore attempted to slit his wrists on the barbed wire by the prison where Tigger was staying. Unfortunately, it didn't work because he's stuffed. Eeyore now sulks under the honey tree everyday---not that it was abnormal for him.

Kanga and Roo: Kanga realized she couldn't keep her house by sitting around doing nothing, so she got a job at the local strip club. However, nobody found it attractive, so she was immediately fired. Angered, Kanga forced Roo to work at the McDonalds next to the strip club. Roo went along with it, but was still upset with his manager, because he wouldn't let him eat the french fries.

Owl and Rabbit: Once the two realized they were the only living breathing animals of the bunch, Owl and Rabbit fell head over heels for each other. They started dating, and eventually decided to get married. Unfortunately, gay marriage isn't allowed in the Hundred Acre Woods, so they hatched a plan. Rabbit---being the feminine one of the two---decided to disguise himself as a girl; by wearing the same dresses his mother had worn long ago. Because the Hundred Acre Woods community is blind, Owl and Rabbit are now happily married. They live together in Tigger's former treehouse.